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"V/VM Hate You"

When Beatles tributes take the stage someone has to put it back. Stadium bores with hands behind backs and whiny nasal voices are pelted with rancid eggs, fat squishy tomatoes, tubs of lard and mouldy old dough by young hackers who forgot John Lennon before they were even born. Suddenly backdrop collapses and the thin squawking of union jack guitars is drowned by big nasty laptop noise eruptions. Two men in pig masks are revealed and cabbage leaves are thrown to the throng.

To the butchered tune of 'Hey Jude' a new anthem is dedicated gloriously writhing in eternal hacked ridicule: "Na Na Na, Na Na Na Na, We Hate You!" Stadium bores dissolve into puddles of plagiarist goo and Madonna bumps and grinds across the stage until she knocks over the achey breaky hard drive and is declared a filthy slut by a horde of rampaging alien porno midgets. The Caretaker gives pause for organ reflection before the sucker MC Russ Abbot is airlifted into the stadium to announce the happiest atmosphere at any party he's ever been to! Even the timely demise of Big Ron, whose liver erupts with all the excitement, can't put a dampener on the stomp. Russ's biro tache gets the biggest round of applause yet, but is soon upstaged by the 'Mod Theme' courtesy of Gai/Jin (Hrvatski in a monkey suit) whose frantic dum'n'base remix of the jolly mouldy old dough anthem is even better than anything you've heard by the legendary Karl Cocks ever! But you ain't seen nothing yet! Remi Moses and Devil Chan drive huge trash trains into the arena and the music fighters and ghostbusters hurl it all around until the place is full of garbage as far as the nose can smell. The stench of rancid trotters, rotten cabbage and mouldy old dough fills the air. A giant pig mask appears in the sky above the stadium, cackling, "We did it because we HATE you!" Fade out to eerie strains of 'The Bleeding' from Icon of Throat. Aphex Twin didn't show up, and no one gave a fuck.

 

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