NURSE WITH WOUND
RELATED TEXTS

DEFINITIONS.

The words God, religions, faith, morals, woman, etc. (they being forms
of belief), are used as expressing different "means" as controlling
and expressing desire: an idea of unity by fear in some form or
another which must spell bondage-the imagined limits; extended by
science which adds a dearly paid inch to our height: no more.

Kia: The absolute freedom which being free is mighty enough to be
"reality" and free at any time: therefore is not potential or manifest
(except as it's instant possibility) by ideas of freedom or "means,"
but by the Ego being free to recieve it, by being free of ideas about
it and by not believing. The less said of it (Kia) the less obscure is
it. Remember evolution teaches by terrible punishments-that conception
is ultimate reality but not ultimate freedom from evolution.

Virtue: Pure Art

Vice: Fear, belief, faith, control, science, and the like.

Self-Love: A mental state, mood or condition caused by the emotion of
laughter becoming the principle that allows the Ego appreciation or
universal association in permitting inclusion before conception.

Exhaustion: That state of vacuity brought by exhausting a desire by
some means of dissipation when the mood corresponds to the nature of
the desire, i.e., when the mind is worried because of the
non-fulfilment of such desire and seeks relief. By seizing this mood
and living, the resultant vacuity is sensitive to the subtle
suggestion of the Sigil.

DIFFERENT RELIGIONS AND DOCTRINES AS MEANS TO PLEASURE, FREEDOM AND POWER.

What is there to believe, but in Self? And Self is the negation of
completeness as reality. No man has seen self at any time. We are what
we believe and what it implies by a process of time in the conception;
creation is caused by this bondage to formula.

Actions are the expressions of ideas bound up in the belief; they
being inherent are obscure, their operation indirect, easily they
deceive introspection. Fruits of action are two-fold, Heaven or Hell,
their Unity or Nothingness (Purgatory or Indifference). In Heaven
there is desire for Women. Hell the desire intense. Purgatory is
expectation delayed. Indifference but disappointment till
recovery. Then verily they are one and the same. The wise pleasure
seeker, having realised they are "different degrees of desire" and
never desirable, gives up both Virtue and Vice and becomes a
Kiaist. Riding the Shark of his desire he crosses the ocean of the
dual principle and engages himself in self-love.

Religions are the projection of incapacity, the imaginations of fear,
the veneer of superstition, that paradox is truth, * while ofttimes
the ornamentation of imbecility. As a virtue in the Idea to maximize
pleasure cheaply, remit your sins and excuse them-is but ceremonial,
the expression of puppetry to the governing fear. Yes! What you have
ordained in your religiousness, is your very rack, imagined though it
be! The prospect is not pleasant; you have taught yourself! It has
become inborn and your body is sensitive.

* That God is always in Heaven or that the Almighty inconceivable
emanates its conception or negation-commits suicide, etc.

Some praise the idea of Faith. To believe that they are Gods (or
anything else) would make them such-proving by all they do, to be full
of its non-belief. Better is it to admit incapacity or insignificance,
than reinforce it by faith; since the superficial "protects" but does
not change the vital. Therefore reject the former for the
latter. Their formula is deception and they are deceived, the negation
of their purpose. Faith is denial, or the metaphor Idiotcy, hence it
always fails. To make their bondage more secure Governments force
religion down the throats of their slaves, and it always suceeds;
those who escape it are but few, therefore their honour is the
greater. When faith perishes, the "Self" shall come into its
own. Others less foolish, obscure the memory that God is a conception
of themselves, and as much subject to law. Then, this ambition of
faith, is it so very desirable? Myself, I have not yet seen a man who
is not God already.

Others again, and those who have much knowledge, cannot tell you
exactly what "belief" is, or how to believe in what defies natural
laws and existing belief. Surely it is not by saying "I believe"; that
art has long been lost. They are even more subject to bewilderment and
distraction directly they open their mouths full of argument; without
power and unhappy unless spreading their own confusion, to gain
cogency they must adopt dogma and mannerism that excludes possibility
.  .  .  .  .  . By the illumination of their knowledge they
deteriorate in accomplishment. Have we not watched them decay in
ration to their expoundings? Verily, man cannot believe by faith or
gain, neither can he explain his knowledge unless born of a new
law. We being everything, wherefore the necessity of imagining we are
not?

Be ye mystic.

Others believe in prayer .  .  .  .  have not all yet learnt, that to
ask it to be denied? Let it be the root of your Gospel. Oh, ye who are
living other peoples lives! Unless desire is subconscious, it is not
fulfilled, no, not in this life. Then verily sleep is better than
prayer. Quiescence is hidden desire, a form of "not asking"; by it the
female obtains much from man. Utilize prayer (if you must pray) as a
means of exhaustion, and by that you will obtain your desire.

Some do much to show the similarity of different religions; certainly
by it I prove the possibility of a fundamental illusion, but that they
never realise-or this Ukase they are the mockery, for how much they
regret! They suffer more conflict than the unenlightened. With what
they can identify their own delusion of fear they call truth. They
never see this similarity and the quintessence of religions, their own
poverty of imagination and religion's palliation. Better is it to show
the essential difference of religions. It is as well to know that
various means; is not their object to deceive and govern? Surely then,
for the attainment of the transcendental, God and religion should have
no place.

Some praise truth so-called, but give it many containers; forgetting
its dependence they prove its relationship and paradox, the song of
experience and illusion. Paradox is not "truth", but the truth that
anything can be true for a time. What supersedes paradox and its
implicit ("not necessary"), I will make the foundation of my
teaching. Let us determine the deliberative, "the truth" cannot be
divided. Self-love only cannot be denied and is Self-love as such when
paradoxical, under any condition, hence it alone is truth, without
accessories complete.

Others praise ceremonial Magic, and are supposed to suffer much
Ecstasy! Our asylums are crowded, the stage is over-run! Is it by
symbolizing we become the symbolized? Were I to crown myself King,
should I be King? Rather should I be an object of disgust or
pity. These Magicians, whose insincerity is their safety, are but the
unemployed dandies of the Brothels. Magic is but one's natural ability
to attract without asking; ceremony what is unaffected, its doctrine
the negation of theirs. I know them well and their creed of learning
that teaches the fear of their own light. Vampires, they are as the
very lice in attraction. Their practices prove their incapacity, they
have no magic to intensify the normal, the joy of a child or healthy
person, none to evoke their pleasure or wisdom from themselves. Their
methods depending on a morass of the imagination and a chaos of
conditions, their knowledge obtained with less decency than the hyena
his food, I say they are less free and do not obtain the satisfaction
of the meanest among animals. Self condemned in their disgusting
fatness, their emptiness of power, without even the magic of personal
charm or beauty, they are offensive in their bad taste and mongering
for advertisement. The freedom of energy is not obtained by its
bondage, great power not by disintegration. Is it not because our
energy (or mind stuff) is already over bound and divided, that we are
not capable, let alone magical?

Some believe any and every thing is symbolic, and can be transcribed,
and explain the occult, but of what they do not know. (Great spiritual
truths?) So argument a metaphor, cautiously confusing the obvious
which developes the hidden virtue. This unnecessary corpulency,
however impressive, is it not disgusting? (The Elephant is exceeding
large but extremely powerful, the swine though odious does not breed
the contempt of our good taste.) If a man is no hero to his servant,
much less can he remain a mystic in the eyes of the curious;
similarity educates mimicry. Decorate your meaning, however
objectionable (as fact), after you have shown your honesty. Truth,
though simple, never needs the argument of confusion for obscurity;
its own pure symbolism embraces all possibilities as mystic
design. Take your stand in commonsense and you include the truth which
cannot lie; no argument has yet prevailed. Perfect proportion suggest
no alteration, and what is useless decays.

They reject all the modern symbolism*(1) and reach an absurd limit
very early. Not counting on change*(2) and (at times) the arbitrary
nature of symbolism or the chance of a preserved folly, by their
adoption of the traditional without a Science, as having reading to
the present, their symbolism is chaotic and meaningless. Not knowing
the early rendering, they succeed in projecting their own meagreness
by this confusion, as explaining the ancient symbols. Children are
more wise. This conglomeration of antiquity decayed, collected with
the disease of greed-is surely the chance for charity? Forgetting
trumpery ideas, learn the best tradition by seeing you own functions
and the modern unbiassed. Some praise the belief in a moral doctrinal
code, which they naturally and continually transgress, and never
obtain their purpose. Given the right nature, they succeed fairly in
their own governing, and are those most healthy, sane and
self-pleased. It may be called the negation of my doctrine, they
obtain tolerable satisfaction, whereas mine is complete. Let him tarry
here, who is not strong for the great work. In freedom he might be
lost. So fledge your wings fearlessly, ye humble ones!

*(1) All means of locomotion, machinery, governments, institutions,
and everything essentially modern, is vital symbolism of the workings
of our mind, etc.

*(2) The symbol of justice known to the Romans is not symbolic of
Divine, or our justice, at least not necessarily or usually. The
vitality is not exactly like water-nor are we trees; more like
ourselves, which might incidentally include trees somewhere
unlearnt-much more obvious in our workings at present.

Others say knowledge only is eternal, it is the eternal illusion of
learning-the Ukase of learning what we already know. Directly we ask
ourselves "how" we induce stupidity; without this conception what is
there we could not know and accomplish? Others for concentration, it
will not free you, the mind conceiving the law is bondage. Arrived at
that, you will want deconcentration. Dissociation from all ideas but
one is not release but imaginative fulfilment, or the fury of
creation. Others again, that all things are emanations of the Divine
Spirit, as rays from the Sun, hence the need of emancipation? Verily,
things are of necessity through their conception and belief. Then let
us destroy or change conception, and empty the belief.

These and many other doctrines, are declared by me as the perpetuators
of sin and illusion. Each and all depending on a muddled implication,
obscuring, yet evolved from the duality of the consciousness for their
enjoyment. In fear they would vomit hot blood were they to see the
fruits of their actions and pleasures. Thus believing in widely
different doctrines, they are of the dual principle, necessary
parasites on each other. Like drugs and the surgeon's knife, they only
annul or at best remove an effect. They do not change or remove the
fundamental cause (the law). "Oh, God, thou art the stagnant
environment." All is quackery: these religions whose very existence
depend on their failure, are so full of misery and confusion, have
only multiplied arguments, as full of argument as they are evil, so
crowded with non-essentials, being so barren of any free pleasure in
this life or another, I cannot uphold their doctrines. Their criterion
for enjoyment-death! Better it were a man renounce them all, and
embrace his own invincible purpose. He cannot go further, and this is
his only release. By it he may put his pleasure where he will, and
find satisfaction.

THE CONSUMER OF RELIGION

Kia, in its Transcendental and Conceivable Manifestation.

Of name it has no name, to designate. I call it Kia I dare not claim
it as myself. The Kia which can be expressed by conceivable ideas, is
not the eternal Kia, which burns up all belief but is the archetype of
"self," the slavery of mortality. Endeavouring to describe "it," I
write what may be but not usually-called the "book of lies"*(1). The
unorthodox of the originable-a volant "sight," that conveys somehow by
the incidental, that truth is somewhere. The Kia which can be vaguely
expressed in words is the "Neither-Neither," the unmodified "I" in the
sensation of omnipresence, the illumination symbolically transcribed
in the sacred alphabet, and of which I am about to write. Its
emanation is its own intensity, but not necessariness, it has and ever
will exist, the virgin quantum-by its exuberance we have gained
existence. Who dare say where, why and how it is related? By the
labour of time the doubter inhabits his limit. Not related to, but
permitting all things, it eludes conception, yet is the quintessence
of conception as permeating pleasure in meaning. Anterior to Heaven
and Earth, in its aspect that transcends these, but not intelligence,
it may be regarded as the primordial sexual principle, the idea of
pleasure in self-love. Only he who has attained the death posture can
apprehend this new sexuality, and its almighty love satisfied. He that
is ever servile to belief, clogged by desire, is identified with such
and can see but its infinite ramifications in dissatisfaction*(2). The
progenitor of itself and all things, but resembling nothing, this
sexuality in its early simplicity, embodies the everlasting. Time has
not changed it, hence I call it new. This ancestral sex principle, and
the idea of self, are one and the same, this sameness its exaction and
infinite possibilities, the early duality, the mystery of mysteries,
the Sphinx at the gates of all spirituality. All conceivable ideas
begin and end as light in its emotion, the ecstasy which the creation
of the idea of self induces. The idea is unity by the formula of self,
its necessary reality as continuity, the question of all things, all
this universe visible and invisible has come out of it. As unity
conceived duality, it begot trinity, begot tetragrammaton. Duality
being unity, is time, the complex of conception, the eternal
refluctuation to the primeval reality in freedom-being trinity of
dualities, is the six senses, the five facets of sex-projecting as
environment for self-assimilation in denial, as a complete
sexuality. Being tetragrammaton of dualities is twelvefold by
arrangement, the human complex, and may be called the twelve
commandments of the believer. It imagines the eternal decimal, its
multiplicity embracing eternity, from which spring the manifold forms,
which constitute existence. Vitalized by the breath of self-love, life
is conscious of one. Self being its opposing force, is alternately
conflict, harmony, life and death. These four principles are one and
the same-the conception considered as the complete "self" or
consciousness-hence they may be blended into unity and Symbolized. One
form made by two, that is three-fold and having four directions.

*(1) About this "Self"; all conception is the dual principle, the law
which is its conception.

*(2) The unmodified sex principle refracted through the dual principle
emanates the infinite variety of emotions or sexualities, which may be
called its ramifications.

The Transcendental Law, the Law and Testament of the "New."

The law of Kia is its own arbiter, beyond necessitation, who can grasp
the nameless Kia? Obvious but unintelligible, without form, its design
most excellent. Its wish is its superabundance, who can assert its
mysterious purpose? By our knowledge it becomes more obscure, more
remote, and our faith-opacity. Without attribute, I know not its
name. How free it is, it has no need of sovereignty! (Kingdoms are
their own despoilers.) Without lineage, who dare claim relationship?
Without virtue, how pleasing in its moral self-love! How mighty is it,
in its assertion of "Need not be-Does not matter"! Self-love in
complete perspective, serves its own invincible purpose of
ecstasy. Supreme bliss simulating opposition is its balance. It
suffers no hurt, neither does it labour. Is it not self-attracting and
independent? Assuredly we cannot call it balance. Could we but imitate
its law, all creation without command would unite and serve our
purpose in pleasure and harmony. Kia transcending conception, is
unchanging and inexhaustible, there is no need of illumination to see
it. If we open our mouths to speak of it, it is not of it but of our
duality, mighty though it be in its early simplicity! Kia without
conceiving, produces its rendezvous as the fulness of
creation. Without assertion the mightiest energy, without smallness it
may appear the least among things. Its possession ours without asking,
its being free, the only thing that is free. Without distinction, it
has no favourites, but nourishes itself. In fear all creation pays
homage-but does not extol its moral, so everything perishes
unbeautifully. We endow ourselves with the power we concieve of it,
and it acts as master-*, never the cause of emancipation. Thus for
ever from "self" do I fashion the Kia, without likeness, but which may
be regarded as the truth. From this consultation is the bondage made,
not by intelligence shall we be free. The law of Kia is its ever
original purpose, undetermined, without change the emanations, through
our conception they materialize and are of that duality, man takes
this law from this refraction, his ideas-reality. With what does he
balance his ecstasy? Measure for measure by intense pain, sorrow, and
miseries. With what his rebellion? Of necessity slavery! Duality is
the law, realization by suffering, relates and opposes by units of
time. Ecstasy for any length of time is difficult to obtain, and
laboured heavily for. Various degrees of misery alternating with gusts
of pleasure and emotions less anxious, would seem the condition of
consciousness and existence. Duality in some form or another is
consciousness as existence. It is the illusion of time, size, entity,
etc.-the world's limit. The dual principle is the quintessence of all
experience, no ramification has enlarged its early simplicity, but is
only its repetition, modification or complexity, never is its
evolution complete. It cannot go further than the experience of
self-so returns and unites again and again, ever an anti-climax. For
ever retrogressing to its original simplicity by infinite complication
is its evolution. No man shall understand "Why" by its workings. Know
it as the illusion that embraces the learning of all existence. The
most aged one who grows no wiser, it may be regarded as the mother of
all things. Therefore believe all experience to be illusion, and the
law of duality. As space pervades an object both in and out, similarly
within and beyond this ever-changing cosmos, there is this secondless
principle.

* By scores of incarnations, our eventual "self" is derived from the
attributes with which we endow our God, the abstract Ego or conceptive
principle. All conception is a denial of the Kia, hence we are its
opposition, our own evil. The offspring of ourselves, we are the
conflict of what we deny and assert of the Kia. It would seem as
though we cannot be too careful in our choice, for it determines the
body we inhabit.

SOLILOQUY ON GOD-HEAD.

Who ever Thought Thus?

Something is causing Pain and something energizes the Agony: may it
not be caused through the latent Idea of Supreme Bliss? And this
eternal expectation, this amassing of ornament on decay, this
ever-abiding thought- is coincidental with the vanity preceding death?
O, squalid thought from the most morbid spleen how can I devour thee
and save my Soul? Ever did it answer back-"Pay homage where due: the
Physician is the Lord of existence!" This superstition of medicine-is
it not the essence of cowardice, the agent of Death?

Strange no one remembers being dead? Have you ever seen the Sun?-If
you have then you have seen nothing dead-in spite of you different
belief! Which is the more dead "you" or this corpse? Which of you has
the greater degree of consciousness? Judging by expression alone-which
of you appears enjoying Life most? May not this "belief" in death be
the "will" that attempts "death" for your satisfaction, but can give
you no more than sleep, decay, change-hell? This constant somnambulism
is "the unsatisfactory."

You disbelieve in Ghosts and God-because you have not seen them? What!
You have never seen the mocking ghosts of your beliefs?-the Laughing
Bedlam of your humility or Mammon-your grotesque Ideas of "Self"? Yea,
your very faculties and your most courageous Lies are Gods! Who is the
slayer of your Gods-but a God!

There is no proof that you existed before? What an excuse! No one has
returned to tell us? What a damning advocate! You are but what you
were-somehow changed? You are the case Prima Facie that you are
reincarnated to perhaps anything? "Perhapses" are possible! Can you do
differently to what you do? Never shall I tire of asserting that you
constantly do differently!

What is the "ugliness" that offends? Is it the vague knowledge that
you will have to change your mind-that you are germinating what you
contain? You are always remembering what you forgot; to-day may be the
day of reckoning-of believing by force what you disbelieved? Now if
to-day is yesterday in all but appearances-then to-morrow also is
to-day- the day of decay! Daily is this universe destroyed, that is
why you are conscious! There is no Life and Death? Such ideas should
be less than comic.

There is no Duality?

You are conscious of the gay Butterfly you observe and are conscious
of being "You": the Butterfly is conscious of being "itself," and as
such, it is a consciousness as good as and the same as yours, i.e., of
you being "you." Therefore this consciousness of "you" that you both
feel is the same "you"?  Ergo, you are one and the same-the mystery of
mysteries and the most simple thing in the world to understand! How
could you be conscious of what you are not? But you might believe
differently? So, if you hurt the Butterfly you hurt yourself, but your
belief that you don't hurt yourself protects you from hurt-for a time!
Belief gets tired and you are miserably hurt! Do what you will-belief
is ever its own inconsistency. Desire contains everything, hence you
must believe in everything-if you believe at all! Belief seems to
exclude commonsense.

nThere is no doubt about it-this consciousness of "Thee" and "Me" is
the unwelcome but ever ready torturer-yet it "need not be so" in any
sense! Is it not a matter of Fear? You are fearsome of entering a den
of Tigers? (And I assure you it is a matter of righteousness-(inborn
or cultured)-whether you enter voluntarily or are chucked in, and
whether you come out alive or not!) Yet daily you fearlessly enter
dens inhabited by more terrible creatures than Tigers and you come out
unharmed-why?

The Allegory.

Great scientists are finding out the death-dealing properties of the
microbes they discover we breathe, and which according to their canons
should destroy; we should be already dead? Have faith! The canons of
science are quite correct, they do not disappoint the doubt! Our
greater familiarity-"this impulse to knowledge" will certainly bring
us the disease and death they give! And also give us in compensation
their powers of destruction! For the destruction of whom? Things will
be squared! Is this the value of the will? This "will to power"-how
life preserving! How furthering of discriminate selection! How
pleasing! Most noble explorers! O, you scientists-go on discovering
the Bottomless Pit! When you are sodden with science-the lightning
will thunder out the murder? New hope will be born? New creatures for
the circus? (The conception of) God-head must ever evolve its inertia
for transmutation to its very opposite-because it contains it!

The master must be the painful learner of his stupidity?

The idea of God ever means the forgetfulness of supremacy and
Godliness. So must be supplanted by fear, eh?

There is no Atheist, no one is free from auto-biography, there is no
fearless pleasurist?

The conception is the absence of its indisputable reality within! When
the conception is memorial in forgetfulness-it may be the chance of
its reality for you?? When the prayer-(you are always praying) has
transmutated to its Blasphemy-you are attractive enough to be
heard-your desire is gratified! What a somersault of humility!

Whether God is projected as master by fear or as the dweller within by
love Gods we are all the time, that is why divinity is always
potential. Its constant generation, the eternal delay-is life. This
envy of the Master or Creator-the ultimate hope to follow in manner is
also existence and the forfeiture of "Life"!

There is no scientific fact, it ever implies its opposite as equal
fact, this is the "fact." Then why trouble to prove anything a fact?
This vain hope to prove finality is death itself, so why humbug the
"Desire"? You have proved (by mathematics!) the sun to be so many
millions of miles away from you-you will now improve its efficiency!
Nature-that impulse to the antitheses of your truths, will early prove
(by mathematics and whenever you like!) that the Sun does not exist at
all! Or if you wish-it will prove conclusively that the Sun is
millions of millions of miles further away or millions of miles nearer
than you once thought! Most extraordinary thinker! These facts and
many others are already know to the butterfly, the lice, the
insects-and perhaps yourself? Whose senses are the more true-yours or
the house-fly's? You will eventually adopt their vision-their thoughts
and wisdom-you were such once? You are such now but have not awakened
them-you will be such again in power! Wondrous progress! Most
meritorious accomplishments! Most merciless! Progress should be
closely examined and what you have gained by the convenience of
science.

A thought for perspective-you are always what you most wish-the
prospective! Your desire is to live according to your desire, and this
you are always realizing! Most noble sentiment!-you are "it"
already-"the satisfied"-"the desireless"-"the real thing"! You are
drunk with it.

There is no illusion but consciousness! This consciousness is ever the
smiling monument commemorating "Whether you ever really enjoyed Life"!

The God of the "Will" is the command to obey, its Justice everyone
fears-it is a Sword-your desert for obedience! "Will" is the command
to believe, your will is what you have believed actively willing the
belief for you! You think when "it" wishes! "Will" is complication,
the means of a means. Call this will free or not-beyond will and
belief is Self-love. I know of no better name. It is free to believe
what it desires. You are free to believe in nothing related to
belief. The "Truth" is not difficult to understand! The truth has no
will-will has no truth! Truth is "will" never believed-it has no
truth! "Could be"-is the immediate certainty! This haunting Sphinx
teaches us the value of the "will to anything"? Then there is no
graver risk than Absolute Knowledge-if little is dangerous-what about
Omniscience? The Almighty power has no accessories!

Science is the accursed doubt of the possible, yea, of what does
exist! You cannot conceive an impossibility, nothing is impossible,
you are the impossible! Doubt is delay-time-but how it punishes!
Nothing is more true than anything else! What are you not-you ever
answered truthfully?

You tyrannise over yourself, so constantly forget what you remember;
you resist sense objects and show resistance to the faculties by
believing or not. These faculties are as numerous as the atoms you
have not yet seen, and they are as endless as the number one-they come
into life at will. You adopt a few at a time- knowledge you speak
through them- did you but understand your grammar those you disown
speak louder than your words! I would not believe the wisdom of the
Almighty.

Belief is ever its own tempter to believe differently; you cannot
believe freedom but you may be freed from belief? Neither can you
believe the "Truth" but you need not compromise yourself. The way of
Life is not by "means"-these doctrines-my doctrines even though they
allow the self-appointed devotee to emulate my realization- may I ever
blush! The man of sorrows is the Teacher! I have taught- would I teach
myself or thee again? Not for a gift from Heaven! Mastership equals
learning- equals constant unlearning! Almighty is he who has not
learnt and mighty is the babe- it has only the power of assimilating!

The most solecistical of fools now asks-"how can we escape the
inevitable evolutions of conception-as all is ever conceiving"? My
answer shall permit all means, all men, all conditions. Listen, O, God
that art, yet would be God. When the mind is nonplussed- capability to
attempt the impossible becomes known; by that most simple state of
"Neither-Neither" the Ego becomes the Silent Watcher and knows about
it all! The "Why" and "How" of desire is contained within the mystic
state of "Neither-Neither" and common-sense proves it is the milk
state, most nutritious! Clownish that I am- yet all my ideas have come
out of it (and, my friend, all yours), but ever have I been a
sluggard- an old sinner who would see others almighty before himself.

THE DEATH POSTURE

Ideas of Self in conflict cannot be slain, by resistance they are a
reality- no Death or cunning has overcome them but is their
reinforcement of energy. The dead are born again and again lie in the
womb of conscience. By allowing maturity is to predicate decay when by
non-resistance is retrogression to early simplicity and the passage to
the original and unity without idea. From that idea is the formula of
non-resistance germinating "Does not matter- please yourself."

The conception of "I am not" must of necessity follow the conception
of "I am," because of its grammar, as surely in this world of sorrow
night follows day. The recognition of pain as such, implies the idea
of pleasure, and so with all ideas. By this duality, let him remember
to laugh at all times, recognize all things, resist nothing; then
there is no conflict, incompatibility or compulsion as such.

Transgressing Conception by a Lucid Symbolism.

Man implies Woman, I transcend these by the Hermaphrodite, this again
implies a Eunuch*(1); all these conditions I transcend by a "Neither"
principle, yet although a "Neither" is vague, the fact of conceiving
it proves its palpability, and again implies a different
"Neither."*(2)

But the "Neither-Neither" principle of those two, is the state where
the mind has passed beyond conception, it cannot be balanced, since it
implies only itself. The "I" principle has reached the "Does not
matter- need not be" state, and is not related to form. Save and
beyond it, there is no other, therefore it alone is complete and
eternal. Indestructible, it has power to destroy- therefore it alone
is true freedom and existence. Through it comes immunity from all
sorrow, therefore the spirit is ecstasy. Renouncing everything by the
means shown, take shelter in it. Surely it is the abode of Kia? This
having once been (even Symbolically) reached, is our unconditional
release from duality and time- believe this to be true. The belief
free from all ideas but pleasure, the Karma through law (displeasure)
speedily exhausts itself. In that moment beyond time, a new law can
become incarnate, without the payment of sorow, every wish gratified,
he*(3) having become the gratifier by his law. The new law shall be
the arcana of the mystic unbalanced "Does not mattter- need not be,"
there is no necessitation, "please yourself" is its creed.*(4)

In that day there can be deliberation. Without subjection, what you
wish to believe can be true. "He"*(5) is pleased by this imitation,
the truth revealed to me by all systems of government but is himself
ungoverned; Kia, the supreme bliss. This the glorious Science of
pleasing one's self by a new agreement, the art of Self-love by
recognition, the Psychology of ecstasy by non-resistance.

*(1) Sex-less.

*(2) They being dual have analogy to certain early sex principles in
nature. They are carried further in the sacred alphabet, being too
abstruse to explain by orthodox words and grammar.

*(3) The Ego.

*(4) The belief ever striving for denial- fulness by multiplication,
is kept free by retention in this.

*(5) "He", the Ego, now becomes the "Absolute."

The Ritual and Doctrine

Lying on your back lazily, the body expressing the condition of
yawning, suspiring while conceiving by smiling, that is the idea of
the posture. Forgetting time with those things which were essential-
reflecting their meaninglessness, the moment is beyond time and its
virtue has happened.

Standing on tip-toe, with the arms rigid, bound behind by the hands,
clasped and straning the utmost, the neck streched- breathing deeply
and spasmodically, till giddy and sensation comes in gusts, gives
exhaustion and capacity for the former.

Gazing at your reflection till it is blurred and you know not the
gazer, close your eyes (this usually happens involuntarily) and
visualize. The light (always an X in curious evolutions) that is seen
should be held on to, never letting go, till the effort is forgotten,
this gives a feeling of immensity (which sees a small form ), whose
limit you cannot reach. This should be practised before experiencing
the foregoing. The emotion that is felt is the knowledge which tells
you why.

The death posture is its inevitability accelerated, through it we
escape our unending delay by attachment, the Ego is swept up as a leaf
in a fierce gale- in the fleetness of the indeterminable, that which
is always about to happen becomes its truth. Things that are
self-evident are no longer obscure, as by his own will he pleases,
know this as the negation of all faith by living it, the end of the
duality of the consciousness. Of belief, a positive death state, all
else as sleep, a negative state. It is the dead body of all we
believe, and shall awake a dead corpse. The Ego in subjection to law,
seeks inertion in sleep and death. Know the death posture and its
reality in annihilation of law- the ascension from duality. In that
day of tearless lamentation the universe shall be reduced to ashes .
.  .  .  but he escapes the judgment! And what of "I," most
unfortunate man! In that freedom there is no necessitation, what dare
I say more? Rather would I commit much sin than compromise
myself. There are many preliminary exercises, as innumerable as sins,
futile of themselves but designative of the ultimate means. The death
posture in the reduction of all conception (sin) to the
"Neither-Neither" till the desire is contentment by pleasing
yourself. By this and by no other are the inertia of belief; the
restoration of the new sexuality and the ever original self-love in
freedom are attained. The primordial vacuity (or belief) is not by the
exercise of focussing the mind on a negation of all conceivable
things, the identity of unity and duality, chaos and uniformity, etc.,
etc., but by doing it now, not eventually. Percieve, and feel without
the necessity of an opposite, but by its relative. Percieve light
without shadow by its own colour as contrast, through evoking the
emotion of laughter at the time of ecstasy in union, and by practice
till that emotion is untiring and subtle. The law or reaction is
defeated by inclusion. Were he to enjoy an hundred pleasures at a
time, however much his ecstasy, he does not lose, but great increase
takes place. Let him practise it daily, accordingly, till he arrives
at the centre of desire. He has imitated the great purpose. Like this,
all emotions should find equipoise at the time of emanation, till they
become one. Thus by hindering belief and semen from conception, they
become simple and cosmic. By its illumination there is nothing that
cannot be explained. Certainly I find satisfaction in ecstasy. I have
now told you a secret of great import, it was known to me in
childhood. Even by sedulously striving for a vacuity of belief, one is
cosmic enough to dwell in the innermost of others and enjoy
them. Among men few know what they really believe or desire, let him
begin, who would know, by locating his belief till he sees his
will. Existing as dual, they are identical in desire, by their duality
there is no control, for will and belief are ever at variance, and
each would shape the other to its ends, in the issue neither wins as
the joy is a covert of sorrow. Let him unite them.

THE CLOUDY ENEMIES BORN OF STAGNANT SELF-HYPNOTISM.

Natural belief is the intuition that compels belief through that which
is experienced reacting, and dominating in turns; everything has to
associate itself through its definite emotion, stimulated by those in
harmony; those discordant, lose cogency and inhibit. So by its own
workings belief is limited and determined for you. The majority of our
actions can be traced back to a subconscious desire (for freedom) in
conflict with habit, an obedience to inherent fatalism which hangs on
"good and bad" actions already committed (in past existence) against a
preserved morality* and whose reaction gives expression as
spontaneity, involuntariness, autonomy, the deliberate, etc., as the
chance arises. The rest is due to a conflicting traditional moral
doctrine that has become constitutional (partly adopted to govern and
time this reaction). In its origin, an idea of what was then
considered conveniently good and bad .  .  .  .  To maximize pleasure
by an arbitrary compromise of abstention and performance of desire
feared. Assimilated by the deceit of its divine origin, its tenets are
reward for obedience, punishment for transgression, both holding good
for all time (this world and another).  This moral code is a
dramatised burlesque of the conceptive faculty, but is never so
perfect or simple in that it allows latitude for change in any sense,
so becomes dissociated from evolution, etc; and this divorce loses any
utility and of necessity for its own preservation and the sympathy
desired, evolves contradictions or a complication to give
relationship. Transgressing its commandments, dishonesty shows us its
iniquity, for our justification; or simultaneously we create an excuse
or reason for the sin by a distortion of the moral code, that allows
some incongruity. (Usually retaing a few unforgiveable sins- and an
unwritten law.) This negative confession is a feigned rationalism that
allows adventitious excuses .  .  .  .  a process of self-deception to
satisfy and summarily persuade yourself of righteousness. What one
among us has any excuse but self-love? We do not create or confess a
morality that is convenient, that lends itself to growth, and remains
simple, that allows transgression without excuse or punishment. It
would be wise and commonsense to do so, whatever the state of affairs
in your mind. Nature eventually denies that which it affirms: Through
permanent association with the same moral code we help desire to
transgress. Desire of those things denied, the more you restrict the
more you sin, but desire equally desires preservation of moral
instinct, so desire is its own conflict (and weakly enough). Have no
fear, the Bull of earth has long had nothing to do with your unclean
conscience, your stagnant ideas of morality. The microbe alone would
seem without fear!

* The elemental morality or fear of displeasing.

The Complexity of the Belief (Know Thyself).

The nature of belief equals all possibilities ultimately true by
identification through culture to an idea of time, so what is not
timely is not true, and what is not true, prognostication. Thought of
one thing, implies the possibility of another idea as contradicting
but not dissociated, belief is to make "one" more convincing. The
condition of belief is the denial or limit imposed on the capability
of the vitality. To believe at all as such is a concentration and
schooling to exclude the implied by adopting a hypothesis or faith
that reflects non-worryingly or deceitfully rationalizes the
rejected. Truth is not the truth of formula.

The centre of belief is love for one's self, projecting environment
for fulfilment but allowing its distortion to simulate denial, an
ambition to become ulterior to self-desire, but you cannot get further
than the centre, so one multiplies (believes) in order to be more
unaware of the fundamental. Now this refusal to believe what one
believes and exactly as one believes, is the first condition for all
those who are in desire in any sense whatsoever; the man who is in
love perforce becomes a liar, self-hypnotised by his morbid
ornamentation. You know the results.  .  .  .  .You can only "truly
believe" one thing, yet its implexion is essential (as the truth seems
to kill*), so the imagined goes on for ever. The imagination learns
that the idea is its compulsion. To explain the "why" of belief (or of
anything else), we must transcend its schism. By entire consciousness
in how the self loves is the means. As we imitate this law of duality
in all our processes of believing, it is not so simple as it
seems. Who has transgressed the law of conception? Who has no fear?
Yet by this sin, is the sciential of what determines the
Schetic. Gracefully compelling or expecting disappointment at the time
of desire is the means of locating its deceit, a consciousness that
alone gives the chance of inquiry. Beyond it is something arbitrary,
the pauser, the ordainer of law, imitating it by "reason" is but
damning the consequences. Reason is belief, belief is fear of one's
capability, the faith that you are not even all the wonders of
creation, let alone the possibility of being the creator. It is delay
.  .  .  .  Belief well earns the terrible hatred of the
vitality. Belief is not freedom. Belief creates its necessary
experience, progress germinates in retrogression. Consider the reality
is somewhere: and your belief may be too small for its habitation. Oh,
ye of much faith in God, merge into it by the worship of self! Ah!
foolish man, worship the glorious in freedom. When death approaches
the faith in God and desire of woman will not save you, what are their
use when withering and decay sets in and the body is an object of
disgust? And what is the use of knowledge and charity when reality is
known? Unsheathe the sword of self; ideas of the Almighty should be
constantly slain and righteousness should be inquired into.

* And does kill when feared.

Whosoever shall study his true nature a little, him does the "self"
investigate with his extraordinary conduct. He can compel anything
without offending. As the tendency of the most lustful ceases before
publicity and death, so do morals and faith before the perfect
bliss. A glimpse of the truth is born of purity of love: when the
desire is without fear, when it does not desire possession. When the
thought is fulfilled by vision. The fire that is all pleasure is
loosed at his will, he is attraction, the cynosure of women. When the
believing principle is devoid of faith, as sterile of possessing ideas
of God - he is indestructible. Only when there is no fear in any form
is there realisation of identity with reality (freedom). For them
there is no danger in negligence, there being no discrimination. For
him who is conscious of the slightest differentiation there is
fear. So long as there is perception of self-reproach or conscience,
there is pain germinating: there is no freedom. He who believes
anything he perceives or imagines, falls into sin. By believing
without feeling perturbation, forgetting ideas of external and
internal, he regards everything as self, and is the consciousness of
non-resistance, has no horizon: he is free. On seeing the star-lit
eyes and rosebud mouths, the breasts and loins of beautiful women, you
become lovingly attached, but if you fear, consider constantly that
they are merely the charred flesh and bones of yourself after the
torture. The space between the eternal and "self," is it not a moral
doctrine? By unbelieving all one believes and sedulously without
anxiety not believing (by the "Neither-Neither" process), the
principle becomes simple and cosmic enough to include what you are
always desiring, and you are free to believe what was impossible. The
desire is so mighty, it asks no permission, and suffers no
consequences, but the ecstasy of its possession. Against it nothing
can prevail, it burns up, as celluloid cast into the furnace- the old
folly of promising things on behalf of an imagined "another." At hand
is the freedom of Heaven, the Way, the Truth, and the Light, and none
dare say this of himself but by me, in Truth I alone am "Self," my
will unconditioned, is magical. Those who have lived much in their
nature will in some degree be familiar with such a sensation, poor
though it be.

PREFACE TO SELF-LOVE

Let us be honest! Thou art "that," supreme in freedom, most desirable,
beyond desire, untouched by the six stupifiers. The sexuality labours,
so Death may harvest by desire. The elusive fancies of the senses are
dangerous, because of the righteousness you have learned to obey and
control them by. Hell-fire burns because you "conceived"; and will
cease to hurt when you identify the Ego with all the possibilities of
its qualities by believing as the "Neither-Neither" process. You are
fire yet you are scorched! Because you have "willed" belief
(differently or not makes no difference); the cycle of belief goes on
and always obliges, so one day you must believe differently and the
fire will no longer hurt- you are saved? There are other means of
hurting you?

In that state which is not, there is no consciousness in any sense
that thou art "that" (Kia), which is superb, beyond the range of
definition: there is no temptation of freedom, "it" was not the cause
of evolution. Hence "it" is beyond time, consciousness or
unconsciousness, everything or nothingness, etc.; this I know through
the "Neither-Neither" which is automatically beyond every conception,
ever free in every sense. Perhaps "it" may not be obscure by continual
afterthought and vaguely felt through the hand of innocence- but
whoever understands such simple meanings? "It" is never perceived,
being the imperceptible Ecstasy of the "Neither-Neither"- ever present
but hidden by exhaustion through the cycle of Unity. The certainty of
consciousness is always the uncertainty of the perceived or
experienced in whatever state it may be, the constant doubt spelling
fear, pain, decay, and the like- the cause of evolution, the eternal
incompletion.

O, desire, listen! In point of virulence spiritual desire is as fatal
as the sensuous. Aspiration towards a "supreme" is a network of deadly
desires because of cowardice within, ergo, some unsatisfied wisdom
awaiting exploitation to suffer its evolutions. There is no final
wisdom- there is no final desire. How can anything end? Has to-day
ever ended? These things are endlessness!

A person desires things of this world- but where is the difference of
desiring the "Supreme Bliss"? Which is the more selfish? Which is
nearer you? Which pleases the Creator more? Are you certain of the
Creator's will and are you sure of your own desire? Are you the
Creator or just yourself, as you fondly imagine your contents?

All these desires, however mighty, you will one day incarnate- yea,
photograph. These things already exist- very soon you will have
spiritual photographs (unfaked) but not by the camera you use at
present. The pioneer is ever the old fool. An afterthought: some
spirits are already photographed- the microbes.

Are you ever free of desideratum? Belief is eternal desire!

Desire is its own cruelty, the fettering of the hand to labour in some
world unknown; nothing is always dead and no thought dies, the master
becomes the slave- the position is alternate; you have long believed
this, it is in the flesh of your generations with the most merciless
Judge! The scorn of all your reforms or the inversion of your values!

This constant curse and blasphemy- is not the relief more in the
knowledge of the nascent unrelenting taskmaster?

Are not our bodies all smeared with its blood? Has not the world ever
been bloody? Are not our pleasures but rest to drink the blood of
slaughter? O, determined Liars, ye know not yet the lie, it may be
Truth!

The Ego is desire, so everything is ultimately desired and
undesirable, desire is ever a preliminary forecast of terrible
dissatisfaction hidden by its ever-present vainglory. The millenium
will come and quickly go. Men will be greater than the Gods they ever
conceived- there will be greater dissatisfaction. You are ever what
you were but you may be so in a different form!

A person or a nation, however vain or content, falls immediately into
unknown and inevitable desire, consuming him little by little through
those conditions- any condition!

The mind becomes firm in desire by desire as devotion, but when
realized is it then eternally desirable? (or even for a period of a
million years). In Heaven shall be fettered thy foot! Therefore remove
the conception that desire is pure, or impure, or has completion-
remove it by the "Neither-Neither." Even whether the desire is for the
exhasustion of desire by the "neither-Neither" or for realization in a
wife- it is desire- its unending evolution. Therefore remove desire in
any form by the "Neither-Neither." Remove the illusion that there is
Spirit and Not-Spirit (this idea has never given beneficial
results). Remove all conceptions by the same means.

So long as the notion remains that there is "compulsory bondage" in
this World or even in dreams there is such bondage. Remove the
conception of Freedom and Bondage in any World or State by meditation
on Freedom in Freedom by the "Neither-Neither."

For this we know- Vampirism is quite well proven enough- even by the
strong presumption that whenever blood-sucking is done, it is done by
Vampire bats apart from the probability of it being done by a divine
or human agency!

Therefore Kiaize desire by the "Neither-Neither," the most excellent
formula far beyond contentment- the all-embracing vacuum which reduces
"all" to common sense and upon which this Universe rests.

Therefore believe nothing in this Book by the "Neither-Neither," and
dispel the conception of the "Neither-Neither" by the
"Neither-Neither," and belive it is "not-necessary" or the conclusion
of pleasing yourself, because it "Need-not-be-Does-not-matter."

One believes this "all the time" as the Truth of "The Will" not the
thing believed, since the means to an end mean evolution to endless
means.

In that most remarkable simplicity there is no beginning or end of
wisdom or of anything, so how can it be related to conception and
intelligence?

SELF-LOVE AS A MORAL DOCTRINE AND VIRTUE.

The criterion of action, is freedom of movement, timeliness of
expression, pleasuring. The value of a moral doctrine is in its
freedom for transgression. Simplicity I hold most precious. Are not
the most simple things in the world the most perfect, pure, innocent,
and their properties the most wonderful? Hence it is the source of
wisdom. Wisdom is exactly happiness. In love pleasuring myself
necessarily without excuse. Is this not perfection? Actions would
appear unfathomable and incomprehensible, did they exhibit conformity
to the great purpose. There are few who can attain to this! Who has no
shame? Ecstasy in satisfaction is the great purpose. Freedom from the
necessity of law, realisation by the very wish, is the ultimate
goal. Law depends on two, two is uberty, millions .  .  .  .  Law is
complicated. The second did not agitate, the first did not determine,
nor was it compelled or proffered. Chance in sport is not prophecy; by
it we have gained proficiency, sufficient to determine.  .  .  .  .
Prepare for the Eternal, revert to simplicity and you are free. What
man can give without impulse? Only he who has complete sexuality. The
highest goodness is self-nourishment. What are we going to include as
self? Perfect charity acquires, hence it benefits all things by not
giving. What man can have faith without fear? Only he who has no duty
to perform. When faith perishes duty to moral doctrines perishes, we
are without sin and endure for ever in all-devouring love. What man
can know with certainty? Only he who has effaced the necessity of
learning. When teachers fall out, what is the use of learning from
them? The wise are not contentious and have no dogma to expound .  .
.  .  rather are they silent as a new-born babe in feeding. What
teacher can show the source of wisdom? It is because I know without
learning; I know the source and can convey lessons without
teaching. Knowledge is but the excrement of experience: experience its
own repetition. The true teacher implants no knowledge but shows him
his own superabundance. Keeping his vision clear he directs or leads
him as a child to the essential. Having shown him the source of
wisdom, he retires before gratitude or sentiment sets in, leaving him
to fertilize as he wishes. Is not this the way of Heaven? He who
trusts to his natural fund of genius, has no knowledge of its extent
and accomplishes with ease, but directly he doubts, ignorance obsesses
him. Doubt fertilizes in the virgin soil. He is no longer fearless but
a coward to difficulties, his very learning is fear. The difference
between genius and ignorance is a degree of fear. The beginning of
wisdom is fear of forethought the reception of knowledge in
learning. Children doubt, and abhor learning. Why, even the affection
of courage results in cleverness! The difference between good and evil
is a matter of profundity. Which is nearer you, self-love and its
immorality or love and morals? Not conscious of desert the compeer of
Heaven, and constant happiness in wisdom is the capacity of
direction. From self-glorification, from self-exaltation we rise
superior to the incapacity of disquieting fear: the ridiculer to
destruction of humility in repentance. This "self-love" that does not
give but is glad to receive is the genuine opportunity for freedom
from covetousness, from the militant amusement of Heaven. He who
subordinates animal instincts to reason, quickly loses control. Are
not the animals we see in circuses trained by torture? And do not the
animals reared in love, slay their master? The wise embraces and
nourishes all things, but does not act as master. Only when passions
are ruled by foreign environment are they dangers. Control is by
leaving things to work out their own salvation- directly we interfere
we become identified with and subject to their desire. When the Ego
sees self-love- there is peace it becomes the seer. Directly we
desire, we have lost all; "we are" what we desire, therefore we never
obtain. Desire nothing, and there is nothing that you shall not
realise. Desire is for completion, the inherent emotion that it is
"all happiness," all wisdom, in constant harmony. But directly we
believe, we are liars- and become identified with pain, yet pain and
pleasure are one and the same. Therefore believe nothing, and you will
have reverted to a simplicity which childhood has not yet
attained. The fool asks how? as we must believe in pleasure and
pain. Now if we could suffer them simultaneously (pain and pleasure)
and hold fast to a principle that ascends, that allows the Ego
vibration above them, should we not have reached the ecstasy? Now the
belief is the "Ego," yet separates it from Heaven as your body
separates you from another's.  .  .  .  .  Therefore by retaining the
belief in the "not necessity" (when conceiving), the Ego is free. The
emotion of laughter is exhaustion, the early suffering hence by making
this emotion a "mental state" at the time of unity* he unites pain and
pleasure, suffers them simultaneously and by the "not necessity" of
his belief, his conception transcends this world and reaches the
absolute ecstasy. There is no place where pain or death can enter.

* Of Sex, indeed of everything.

The idea of God is the primordial sin, all religions are
evil. Self-love is its own law, which may be broken with impunity,
being the only energy that is not servile, serving its ever-ready
purpose. Surely it is all that is left us that has no sin and is free?
Verily, it is the only thing we dare be conscious of. He that truly
pleases himself is wihout virtue, and shall satisfy all men. Hate,
jealousy, murder, etc., are conditions of love, even as virtue, greed,
selfishness, suicide, etc., are conditions or not pleasing ones's
self. There is no sin more sickening than love, for it is the very
essence of covetousness and the mother of all sin, hence it has the
most devotees. Self-love only is pure and without a congregation.

He that entirely loves himself induces self-love only. In this he is
inexorable, but does not offend like other men. He is akin to the
great purpose, his actions explained for him, good seen of his evil,
without knowing, everyone satisfied with his will. Do not Heaven and
Earth unite daily in spontaneous homage to this will of self-love? No
man can show greater self-love, than by giving up all he believes. Why
do I value this self-love before all else? Is it not because I may be
free to believe in evil, but have no thought that anything can do me
injury? All is self-love, the people of the world, if they only knew,
are its devotees. My new law is the great clue to life. If the world
could understand this, the rotten fabric discarded, they would
diligently follow the way in their own hearts, there would be no
further desire for unity.  .  .  .  .  Try and imagine what that
implies.

May the idea of God perish and with it women: have they not both made
me appear clownish? Let there be no mistake, purity and innocence is
simplicity, happiness is wisdom. What is simple has no duality.

THE DOCTRINE OF ETERNAL SELF-LOVE.

Now self-love is explained. It is the completion of belief. The "self"
is the "Neither-Neither," nothing omitted, indissoluble, beyond
prepossession; dissociation of conception by its own invincible love
is the only true, safe, and free. The desire, will, and belief ceasing
to exist as separate. Attraction, repulsion, and control self
contained, they become the original unity, inert in pleasure. There is
no duality. There is no desire for unity. At that time, it (the dual
principle) rests in its unmodified state. The belief no longer subject
to conception by conceiving "self" as such by loving. At other times,
it*(1) creates a centre, becomes its environment, identified with its
ramifications, conception created, subjection to law and the
insatiable desire for unity, inasmuch as the duality is
unity. Servitude to law is the hatred of Heaven. Self-love only is the
eternal all pleasing, by meditation on this effulgent self which is
mystic joyousness. At that time of bliss, he is punctual to his
imagination, in that day what happiness is his! A lusty innocent,
beyond sin, without hurt! Balanced by an emotion, a refraction of his
ecstasy is all that he is conscious of as external.*(2) His vacuity
causes double refraction, "He," the self-effulgent lightens in the
Ego. Beyond law and the guest at the "Feast of the
Supersensualists."*(3) He has power over life and death.*(4) Save by
this, he is not beyond self-reproach, verily he has loosed all the
trouble of the world, the murder from the lightning. Self-love
preventing the mind from concentration, is identity without form, is
no thought as such; law and external influences contained, do not
affect. When that giving up all belief, reflects only its meaning,
then is there purity of vision, innocence of touch, ergo,
self-love. Verily, verily men are born, suffer and die through their
belief. Ejaculation is death. Self-love is preservation and life.

*(1) It the "Neither-Neither" emanates tetragrammaton of relatives,
the sexes of which are evolved through their cruciform reflection and
are elusive to identity. In their XXXX they produce unity XXXXX XXXXX
conception. Ego generating by subdivision they embrace eternity, in
their manifold ramifications is law.

*(2) i.e. his rainbow.

*(3) Chapter on self-attraction omitted.

*(4) This is the test. The one who doubt would naturally submit himself.

Man to invoke pleasure in his choice, subtracts from desire, his
desire is partial desire, becomes sub-duple (conflict), never is his
energy full. Having no true focus, he is deceived in his strength and
attains a pure measure of pleasure from his body. In success how heavy
is his sentence! Pleasure becomes the illusion. Through dire
necessity, "his means," he is bound to its cause and effect, and
becomes a holcaust on the pyre of sentiment. This self-love is the
only full energy, all else a wrapping of dissatisfaction, the
hypothesis of desires which obscures.

Man in the misery of his illusions and unsatisfied desires, wings his
flight to different religions, and doctrines, seeks redeception, a
hypnotic, a palliative from which he suffers fresh miseries in
exhaustion. The terms of the cure are new illusions, greater
entanglement, more stagnant environment.

Having studied all ways and means to pleasure and pondered over them
well again and again, this self-love has been found by me to be the
only free, true and full one, nothing more sane, pure, and
complete. There is no deceit: when by this all experience certainly is
known, everything sublimely beautiful and exceedingly amiable: where
is the necessity of other means? Like the drink to the drunkard
everything should be sacrificed for it. This Self-love is now declared
by me the means of evolving millions of ideas for pleasure without
love, or its synonyms- self-reproach, sickness, old-age, and
death. The Symposium of self and love. O! Wise Man, Please Thyself.

THE COMPLETE RITUAL AND DOCTRINE OF MAGIC

Ecstasy in Self-love the Obsession

My dearest, I will now explain the only safe and true formula, the
destroyer of the darkness of the World, the most secret among all
secrets. Let it be secret to him who would attain. Let it cover any
period of time, depending on his conception. There is no
qualification*(1), nor ritual or ceremony. His very existence
symbolising all that is necessary to perfection. Most emphatically,
there is no need of repetition or feeble imitation. You are alive!

Magic, the reduction of properties to simplicity, making them
transmutable to utilise them afresh by direction, without
capitalization, bearing fruit many times. Know deliberation, over
consciousness and concentration to be its resistance and sycophancy,
the ultimate acquirement of idiotcy. Whether for his own pleasure or
power, the fulfilment of desire is his purpose, he would terminate
this by magic. Let him wait for a desire analogous in intensity*(2),
he then sacrifices this desire (or its fulfilment) to the initial
desire, by this it becomes organic, the quantum. He has not attained
freedom from law* (3). Hence let him wait for a belief to be
subtracted, that period when disillusionment has taken
place*(4). Verily disappointment is his chance. "This free entity of
belief" and his desire are united to his purpose by the use of Sigils
or sacred letters. By projecting the consciousness into one part,
sensation not being manifold, becomes intensified. By the abstention
of desire, except in the object, this is attained (at the
psychological time this determines itself).

By non-resistance (involuntary thought and action), worry and
apprehension of non-fulfilment, being transient, find no permanent
abode: he desires everything. Anxiety defeats the purpose, it retains
and exposes the desire. Conscious desire is non-attractive. The mind
quiet and focussed, undisturbed by external images does not distort
the sense impressions (there is no hallucination; it would end in
imaginative fulfilment), but magnifies the existing desire, and joins
it to the object in secret.

*(1) The means being simpicity, he is comparitively free to make his
own qualifications and difficulties, i.e., many retirements are absurd
and at once prove his incapacity, the non existence of what he sets
about to prove. He at once sets his limit and servility.

*(2) Just a natural desire.

*(3) This is a short formula for those whose belief is full in the
law, are house holders following their desires. The formula holds good
for any purpose.

*(4) Illustration, the loss of faith in a friend, or an union that did
not fulfill expectations.

Casting the Shadow.

The Ego not being totally oblivious, let him retain only and visualise
the Sigil form, it is his chalice, the means of vacuity and
incarnation. By the deliberation of an analogous emotion at that time,
he deputises the law (reaction). Miraculous is he, balance not known
in this world imitated (attained). All other consciousness annulled
with safety, the vehicle strong enough for the ecstasy, he is beyond
hurt. Now let him imagine an union takes place between himself (the
mystic union of the Ego and Absolute). The nectar emitted, let him
drink slowly, again and again*(1). After this astonishing experience
his passion is incomparable, there is nothing in the world he will
desire: unless he wills. That is why people do not understand me. The
ecstasy in its emotion is omnigenous. Know it as the nectar of life,
the Syllubub of Sun and Moon. Verily he steals the fire from Heaven:
the greatest act of bravery in the world. Deliberation egotized,
except in the refraction*(2) of the ecstasy, is exposure and death,
becoming a presiding obsession, control having been given to a prior
experience and is over-conscious of that through it momentarily
finding freedom from its native law; thus generating double
personality (Insanity).

*(1) If it becomes physical, let him imagine another's body, he has
that sigil or its emergency. This, although not his original purpose,
he will and exceedingly amiable.

*(2) Laughter in this case.

By these means there is no desire beyond fulfilment, no accomplishment
too wonderful, depending on the amount of free belief*(3).

*(3) It may be done by localizing desire to one sense, hence by this
formula using the ear as the vehicle, one hears the most
transcendental music ever conceived, being the voices and harmony of
every conceivable animal and human existence and so with each sense.

Men of small pleasure and enterprise, oblivious of your purpose,
fault-finding, avaricious, sinful, who cannot live without women or
enjoy without pain, fearsome, inconstant, diseased, and withered,
dependent, cruel, deceived, and liars, the worst of men! Know, Oh,
Lord, Oh beloved Self, I have now told you of that most secret tavern
where passion goes when youth has gone, where any man may drink of the
nectar of all-beneficent and gratuitous ecstasy. The most pleasurable
nourishment that harms no one.

NOTE ON THE DIFFERENCE OF MAGICAL OBSESSION (GENIUS) AND INSANITY.

MAGICAL obsession is that state when the mind is illuminated by
sub-conscious activity evoked voluntarily by formula at our own time,
etc., for inspiration. It is the condition of Genius.

Other obsession is the "blind leading the blind," caused by quietism,
known as mediumism, an opening out of the Ego to (what is called) any
external influence, elementals, or disembodied energy. A transmutated
consciousness that is a resistance to "true" sub-conscious activity,
it being a voluntary insanity, a somnambulation of the Ego with "no
form" or control to guide it: hence its emanations are stupid in
suggestion, or memories of childhood.

Obsession known as or related to insanity is an experience that is
dissociated from the personality (Ego) through some sort of
rejection. It is sub-crystalline, and cannot become permanently
attached to the sub-consciousness, not having exhausted or completed
itself by realisation. Depending on its degree of intensity and
resistance shown at some time or another, the Ego has or has not
knowledge of the obsession; always is its expression autonomous,
divorced from personal control, power of direction and
timing. Concentration determines dissociation. Enthusiasm for one
object seeking completion by identification, sacrifices all else, or
deliberately forgets. Its separation from the Ego (it becoming equal,
or more in bulk than the rest of the consciousness, causes subdivision
or "double personality"), is caused by its own intensity or by shock
of resistance determined by some incompatibility of the desired or
desire.

Concentration is dissatisfied desire, a conflict that can never be
satisfied, because of its means. When the Ego, not appearing to have
or not knowing the means of fulfilment, seeks its repudiation,
repression, imaginative fulfilment, or transmutation to escape its
worry. None of these is the desire's or obsession's annihilation, but
its separation or concealment from the rest of the Ego, its premature
sub-conscious existence. It is held there only when some form of
resistance is active, when resistance is dormant- control is given to
the presiding obsession, allowing its incarnation in, and swamping of
the Ego, which has to live and perform its emotional
experience. Disease and Insanity (all disease is insanity) is caused
when the disembodied energy has no vital function. It is this energy
which is utilised for the vitalization of Sigils.

SIGILS.

The Psychology of Believing.

If the "supreme belief" remains unknown, believing is fruitless. If
"the truth" has not yet been ascertained, the study of knowledge is
unproductive. Even if "they" were known their study is useless. We are
not the object by the perception, but by becoming it. Closing the
gateways of sense is no help. Verily I will make common-sense the
foundation of my teaching. Otherwise, how can I convey my meaning to
the deaf, vision to the blind, and my emotion to the dead? In a
labyrinth of metaphor and words, intuition is lost, therefore without
their effort must be learned the truth about one's self from him who
alone knows the truth .  .  .  .  yourself.

Of what use the wisdom of Virginity to him who has been raped by the
seducer, ignorance? Of what use sciences or any knowledge except as
medicine? Hidden treasure does not come at the word nor by digging
with your hands in the main road. Even with the proper implements and
accurate knowledge of place, etc., may be but the acquisition of what
you possessed long ago. There is a great doubt as to whether it is
hidden, except by the strata of your experience and atmospheres of
your belief.

The pertinent question now proposed by "Thee" should be asked by those
desirous of some measure of genius. My answer like the mighty germ is
in agreement with the universe, simple and full of deep import and for
a time extremely objectionable to your ideas of good and
beauty. Listen, attentively, O! Aspirant, all agog for information, to
my answer, for by living the meaning thou shalt truly be freed from
the bondage of constitutional ignorance. Thou must live it thyself; I
cannot live it for thee.

The chief cause of genius is realization or "I" by an emotion that
allows the lightning assimilation of what is perceived. This emotion
is immoral in that it allows free association of knowledge without the
accessories of belief. Its condition is, therefore, ignorance of "I
am" and "I am not" with absent-mindedness as believing. Its most
excellent state is the "Neither-Neither," the free or atmospheric "I."

You remember in your youth the thought "that this world is a curious
place" in the emotion when you felt "why" as to whether this life is a
reasonable development? What was the cause of this and of your
summarily dismissing it from your mind? Again the feeling that the
most commonplace object is magnificently strange and the vague emotion
of co-relation between the incompatible (exhaustive arguments often
see this, but always excuse it); the curiosity and shock with a more
intimate association with the wonders of creation. What is it that
prevents you following investigation into "what exactly is surprise,"
etc.? What is the cause of your believing more in God than a
dog-fight? Yet you fear dogs more than God! Where is the difference
between yourself choked with disquieting piety, and the innocence of a
babe? Perhaps in these is the cause of ignorance.

Belief is the fall from the Absolute. What are you going to believe?
Truth seeks its own negation. Different aspects are not the truth, nor
are they necessary to truth. Of its emanations which are you to
strangle at birth? Are you illegitimate? You believe in right and
wrong- what punishment will you determine? Can you escape the driving
"Must"? Who can escape boredom- without change? Who remain single and
content! What man among you is large and free enough to encompass his
"self"? Your belief obfuscates lineage. Ambition is smallness- your
customed environment. Remember, time is an unstudied imagination of
the experienced. What may be called the early experience was its
completion, so of learning there is no finis. What you learn to-morrow
is determined by what you have done- the accomplished lesson of
yesterday. Never learning to-day what you can do to-morrow is called
loss, but is theft from time, wholesomeness and rejuvenescence. Repeat
this delay again and again till you arrive at spontaneity, chance in
safety. The pursuit of learning (believing) is the grotesque incubator
of stupidity.

If you could truly believe, we should realise the virtue of it. We are
not free to believe .  .  .  .  however much we so desire, having
conflicting ideas to first exhaust. Sigils are the art of believing;
my invention for making belief organic, ergo, true belief.

When by the wish to believe- it is of the necessity incompatible with
an existing belief and is not realized through the inhibition of the
organic belief- the negation of the wish, faith moves no mountains,
not till it has removed itself. Supposing I wish to be great (is not
counting that I am), to have "faith" and believe that I am, does not
make me great- even were I to keep up the pretence to the end .  .  .
.  it being ceremonial insincerity, the affirmation of my
incapacity. I am incapable, because that is the true belief, and
organic. To believe differently is but affectation. Therefore the
imagination or "faith" that I am great, is a superficial belief. The
reaction and denial, caused by the troublesome effervescence of the
organic incapacity. Denial or faith does not change or annihilate it,
but is its reinforcement and preservation. Therefore belief, to be
true, must be organic and sub-conscious. The desire to be great can
only become organic at a time of vacuity, and by giving it (Sigil)
form. When conscious of the Sigil form (any time but the Magical) it
should be repressed, a deliberate striving to forget it, by this it is
active and dominates at the unconscious period, its form nourishes and
allows it to become attached to the sub-consciousness and become
organic, that accomplished, is its reality and realization. He becomes
his concept of greatness.

So belief becomes true and vital by striving against it in
consciousness and by giving it form. Not by the striving of
faith. Belief exhausts itself by confession and non-resistance, i.e.,
consciousness. Believe not to believe, and in degree you will obtain
its existence. Timeliness depending on your morality, give to the
poor. If the ambitious only knew it is as difficult to become
incapable as it is to become great. They are mutual as accomplishments
and equally satisfying.

THE SUB-CONSCIOUSNESS.

ALL geniuses have active sub-consciousness, and the less they are
aware of the fact, the greater their accomplishments. The
sub-consciousness is exploited by desire reaching it. So consciousness
should not contain the "great" desire once the Ego has wished: and
should be filled with an affected ambition for something different,
not vice-versa, the inevitable penalty of cowardice lurking somewhere:
surely not an inglorious deceit? Genius, like heroism, is a matter of
bravery- you have to forget fear, or incapacity somehow .  .  .  .
hence its expression is always spontaneous. How simple it is to
acquire genius- you know the means; who will take the plunge? The
learning of "How" is the eternal "Why"- unanswered! A genius is such,
because he does not know how or why.

The Storehouse of Memories with an Ever-Open Door.

Know the sub-consciousness to be an epitome of all experience and
wisdom, past incarnations as men, animals, birds, vegetable life,
etc., etc., everything that exists, has and ever will exist. Each
being a stratum in the order of evolution. Naturally then, the lower
we probe into these strata, the earlier will be the forms of life we
arrive at; the last is the Almighty Simplicity. And if we succeed in
awakening them, we shall gain their properties, and our accomplishment
will correspond. They being experiences long passed, must be evoked by
extremely vague suggestion, which can only operate when the mind is
unusually quiet or simple. To have their wisdom does not mean the
necessity of their bodies- the body modifies in relation to "means"
(we travel faster than the hunting leopard, but do not have its body),
when it is the means it changes accordingly. Now, if we observe
Nature, the early forms of life are wonderful in their properties,
adaptablility, etc; their strength enormous, and some are
indestructible. No matter what the desire is, it always is its
accomplishment. A microbe has the power to destroy the world (and
certainly would if it took an interest in us). If you were to
dismember its limb, the mutilated part would regrow, etc. So by
evoking and becoming obsessed or illuminated by these existences, we
gain their magical properties, or the knowledge of their
attainment. This is what already happens (everything happens at all
times) though exceedingly slowly; in striving for knowledge we repel
it, the mind works best on a simple diet.

The Key to Prophecy.

The law of Evolution is retrogression of function governing
progression of attainment, i.e., the more wonderful our attainments,
the lower in the scale of life that governs them. Our knowledge of
flight is determined by that desire causing the activity of our bird
etc. Karmas. Directly our desire reaches the stratum belonginging to
those existences that can "fly" without wings- so shall we fly without
machines. This sub-conscious activity is the "capacity," the
"knowledge"; all other we acquire is of a negative or manurial
value. The virtue of learning and acquiring knowledge by the ordinary
means is in its worry and disappointment, of that degree which causes
exhaustion: by that the desire might accidentally reach the real abode
of knowledge, i.e., the sub-consciousness. Inspiration is always at a
void moment, and most great discoveries accidental, usually brought
about by exhaustion of the mind. My formula and Sigils for
sub-conscious activity are the means of inspiration, capacity or
genius, and the means of accelerating evolution. An economy of energy
and method of learning by enjoyment. A bat first grew wings and of the
proper kind, by its desire being organic enough to reach the
sub-consciousness. If its desire to fly had been conscious, it would
have had to wait till it could have done so by the same means as
ourselves, i.e., by machinery. All genius has an hypothesis (usually
natural) in the form of a hobby, which serves to restrain and occupy
the conscious mind, to prevent its interference with spontaneous
expression. The great Leonardo's mathematics, etc., served to
"Deceive" him as such an hypothesis (and as Sigils). Our lives are
full of the Symbolism of those predominating Karmas we are governed
by. All ornament, useless dress, etc., are such (they please people
because they feel the identification), and the means of locating them
(Karmas). The symbolism of crowning a man King, is that he, resembling
God (on earth), has reached the lowest strata of his sub-consciousness
(those one-cell organisms if you like), which predominate as governing
his functions. (Of course, those crowned Kings are never such, they
symbolise the "hope," not the reality.) Hence the floral nature of and
precious stones in design of the crown relate to first principles. He
is King who has reached the dual principle in its simplicity, the
first experience which is all experience .  .  .  .  he has no need of
crowns and kingdoms.

By Sigils and the acquirement of vacuity, any past incarnation,
experience, etc., can be summoned to consciousness. It may even happen
in sleep in the form of dreams, but this means is very
difficult. (Chapters on day and night dreaming for pleasure omitted.)

Total vacuity is difficult and unsafe for those governed by morality,
complexes, i.e., whose belief is not entirely self-love. Hence this
desideratum of Sigils, etc.

Know all ritual, ceremony, conditions, as arbitrary (you have yourself
to please), a hindrance and confusion; their origin was for amusement,
later for the purpose of deceiving other from knowing the truth and
inducing ignorance; and as always happens their high priests were the
more deceived themselves. He who deceives another deceives himself
much more. Therefore know the Charlatans by their love of rich robes,
ceremony, ritual, magical retirements, absurd conditions, and other
stupidity, too numerous to relate. Their entire doctrine a boastful
display, a cowardice hungering for notoriety; their standard
everything unnecessary, their certain failure assured. Hence it is
that those with some natural ability quickly lose it by their
teaching. They can only dogmatise, implant and multiply that which is
entirely superficial. Were I a teacher I should not act as master, as
knowing more, the pupil could lay no claim to
discipleship. Assimilating slowly, he would not be conscious of his
learning, he would not repeat the vital mistake; without fear he would
accomplish with ease. The only teaching possible is to show a man how
to learn from his own wisdom, and to utilise his ignorance and
mistakes. Not by obscuring his vision and intention by righteousness.

SIGILS. BELIEF WITH PROTECTION.

Magickal Obsession.

I will now explain their creation and use; there is no difficulty
about it, how pure and clear it all is*(1). Out of love for my foolish
devotees I invented it. All desire, whether for Pleasure, Knowledge,
or Power, that cannot find "Natural" expression, can by Sigils and
their formula find fulfilment from the sub-consciousness. Sigils are
the means of guiding and uniting the partially free belief*(2) with an
organic desire, its carriage and retention till its purpose served in
the sub-conscious self, and its means of reincarnation in the Ego. All
thought can be expressed by form in true relation. Sigils are
monograms of thought, for the government of energy (all heraldry,
crests, monograms, are Sigils and the Karmas they govern), relating to
Karma; a mathematical means of symbolising desire and giving it form
that has the virtue of preventing any thought and association on that
particular desire (at the magical time), escaping the detection of the
Ego, so that it does not restrain or attach such desire to its own
transitory images, memories and worries, but allows it free passage to
the sub-consciousness.

*(1) By this system, you know exactly what (you believe) your Sigil
must relate to. If you used any form stupidly, you might possibly
"conjure up" exactly what you did not want- the mother of insanity, or
what always happens then, nothing at all. This being the only system,
any result other than by it is accidental. Also you do not have to
dress up as a traditional magician, wizard or priest, build expensive
temples, obtain virgin parchment, black goat's blood, etc., etc., in
fact no theatricals or humbug.

*(2) Free belief or energy, i.e., a disappointed desire, not yet an
     obsession.

Sigils are made by combining the letters of the alphabet
simplified. Illustration*(3), the word "Woman" in Sigil form is
(example) or (example) or (example) etc. The word tiger (example) or
(example) etc., etc. The idea being to obtain a simple form which can
be easily visualised at will, and has not too much pictorial relation
to the desire. The true method has a much greater virtue, which cannot
be explained briefly, being the secret of thought form, as degrees of
suggestion, and what exactly is in a name. We have now agreed as to
how a Sigil is made, and what virtue it has. Verily, what a person
believes by Sigils, is the truth, and is always fulfilled. This system
of Sigils is believed by taking it up as a hobby at a time of great
disappointment or sorrow. By Sigils I have endowed fools with wisdom,
made the wise fools, giving health to the sick and weak, disease to
the strong, etc. Now, if for some purpose, you wanted the strength of
a tiger- you would make a sentence such as:- "This my wish to obtain
the strength of a tiger." (Message from person who typed up this file:
In constructing the sentence of desire, beginning with "This my will,"
has been said by some to be more efficacious.) Sigilized this would
be:-

This my wish (illustrative example of this part of the sentence)

To obtain (ditto)

The strength of a Tiger (same as said above)

Combined as one Sigil (example) or (more simplified example).

*(3) There are six methods of Sigils employed in this book, each
corresponding to different strata. The one shown here is illustrative
and the fundamental idea of them all, from which anyone can evolve his
own system. Conditions, etc., or necessity subsequently evolve
themselves. Also a person has more power of creation and originality
with a limited means of expression.

Now by virtue of this Sigil you are able to send your desire into the
subconsciousness (which contains all strength); that having happened,
it is the desire's realization by the manifestation of the knowledge
or power necessary.

First, all consciousness except of the Sigil has to be annulled; do
not confuse this with concentration- you simply conceive the Sigil any
moment you begin to think. Vacuity* is obtained by exhausting the mind
and body by some means or another. A personal or traditional means
serves equally well, depending on temperament; choose the most
pleasant; these should be held in favour, Mantras and Posture, Women
and Wine, Tennis, and the playing of Patience, or by walking and
concentration on the Sigil, etc., etc. None is necessary to him who
has (even symbolically) for a moment by the "Neither-Neither"
conquered the dual principle (Conception), his Ego is free from
gravity. If the Sigil is made an obsession by continual apprehension,
its realization may happen at any moment, in the form of
inspiration. This is done by reverting the mind to the Sigil when one
is extremely worried- the time of exhaustion is the time of
fulfilment. At the time of exhaustion or vacuity, retain only and
visualize the Sigil form- eventually it becomes vague, then vanishes
and success is assured. by the Ego conceiving only the Sigil, and not
being able to conceive anything from it, all energy is focussed
through it, the desire for identification carries it to the
corresponding sub-conscious stratum, its destination. The Sigil being
a vehicle, serves the purpose of protecting consciousness from the
direct manifestation of the (consciously unacknowledged) obsession,
conflict is avoided with any incompatible ideas and neither gains
separate personality. It (the obsession) is either gradually
assimilated and becomes organic or returns to its original abode, its
purpose of illumination served. Hence the mind, by Sigils, depending
upon the intensity of desire, is illuminated or obsessed (knowledge or
power) from that particular Karma (the sub-conscious stratum, a
particular existence and knowledge gained by it) relative to the
desire, but not from memory or experience which was recent. Knowledge
is obtained by the sensation, resulting from the unity of the desire
and Karma. Power, by its "actual" vitalization and resurrection.

* This is not the passivity of mediumism which opens the mind to what
is called external influence- disembodied energy usually having no
better purpose than to rap-tables. There are many means of attaining
this state of vacuity: I mention the most simple, there is no need for
crucifixion. Drugs are useless. Smoking and laziness the more
difficult.

This knowledge leaves its stratum in company with the energy or desire
returning to the Ego. It escapes the Ego's resistance by associating
with similar images, memories, or experiences relative (recieved in
this life), that the mind contains, and crystalizes itself by their
symbolism. Hence most illumination is symbolic, and must be
subsequently translated.

(Chapters on Symbolism, Automatic Drawing As Means To Art, & Note on
Sacred Letters omitted.)

ON MYSELF.

Conceiving, thou hast given no sign of life. In claiming thee, a
labour of creating value, is nothing worth holding, nothing
satisfying; the realization of thy inhibition all? By self-effacement
would seem reality. This self, how empty! how prolific of
incompleteness! In self-denial its stimulation to simulate reality .
.  .  .  more and more comes out- these ugly mists of illusion are
parental, the cause of Heaven's hatred! That is why I fear to believe
in God, subordination to an attribute, an idea of Self is not freedom
of love! Probably Almighty is he who is unconscious of the idea of
God. Now may the fierceness of my unity be "Thy" silence and for me no
longer a query or labour to espouse my doubt. Yet mankind for ever
doubts, quirks, and for every pleasure pays, till he becomes
millionary: the punishment shall fit the appraisement of his
capitalization, there is that fear! The rich in dross, to cheat his
conscience, affects humility, speaks of himself as "poor," his
possessions as "burdens," or of "small account"! Of what consolation
the truth in the day of weary waiting and watching, the restless
striving, the imprisonment, the rack, the horrors of every conceivable
torture? When he becomes accustomed, loses reality, and no longer
deterred, will he then create God and miseries afresh? Oh, folly of
the world, deny thy faith, renounce this Bloody-Sceptred God and
confess. The completion of folly is the beginning of childhood, but of
knowledge there is no end. It was the straying that found the path
direct. From childhood, I have never denied my invincible purpose. Oh,
silent watcher, thou sleepless eye of the Universe, watch over the
beginning of all my ideas. The misery of the world would seem eternal,
whilst I, in the midst, like an infant not yet smiling, am impervious
in purity (of self-love) but I dare not claim its service! I am in
eternal want of realization, poor though I be, my contentment is
beyond your understanding. An opinionist, I fear to advocate an
argument, or compromise myself by believing my own doctrines as such .
.  .  .  may they ever be their own expurgers! Fearsome of knowledge,
may my belief be its emptiness, yea, ignorance! From my daring to
believe religions, doctrines, creeds, so shall I hold the jewel of
truth. So cautios am I, simultaneously do I deny that which I affirm,
and hold fast to the "not-necessity," by paradox superseded, without
antecedent, spontaneous, I revert to the Absolute, watch my
intoxication and control- the reaction of Karma. How easy is the Way,
it would seem as though nothing should be said but all unsaid! May my
words be few and pregnant! Alas, the futility of the idea of God has
not yet reached its limit, all men liars, appear striving for insanity
as its climax: while I alone as one prematurely aged, reason tottering
on its throne, remain sane, in positive chastity, confessing no
conscience, no morals- a virgin in singleness of purpose.