Primitive Calculators' no wave/synth-punk reputation rested primarily upon their self-released 1979 single "I Can't Stop It," and their involvement in Richard Lowenstein's 1986 film Dogs In Space. They were hoisted to appear at the Nick Cave-curated 2009 Australian ATP, though, and have since gigged with both Psychic TV and Lightning Bolt. This release features a song from their past and a new one. Both are powerfully obnoxious, if not as mercifully brief as I'd wish.
The eye-catching Sick/Cunt abbreviation turns out to be the new song "Sick Of Myself," and a recording of "Cunt Life," originally performed in 1977 by pre-PCs band The Moths. The best part of "Sick" is the very effective driving bass playing. It supposedly expresses the self-loathing of someone in their fifties who is in a punk band although I didn't catch that. Since "Cunt" is a great puke into the handbag of humanity for the first 90 seconds or so, my advice is to whip it off there, before the energy dissipates.
Having seen Primitive Calculators described as both "legendary" and "hilarious" I can only begin to imagine how two truly hilarious fictional legends might react to this ludicrous racket. Peter Tinniswood's The Brigadier Down Under has his satirical bigot (himself a handy device for poking fun at bigotry) traveling to Australia "a land alarmingly full of Australians." The Brigadier would definitely find this noise cruel and unusual, but less vile than the bland comments of (renowned impartial sporting expert) Richie Benaud. Barry Humphries' Sir Les Patterson would appreciate the honesty and spirit, but not to the extent that the lecherous boozy Australian cultural attache would be distracted from either his appetites or the latest stain on his tie.
However, the story is not over. Decades ago, Cave apparently used to drop by to listen to music with them, but it seems the group have in some ways always been just outside of musical trends; older than emerging 1970s punk bands, with different accents than others, or from the suburbs rather than the inner city. Rather like an obnoxious boomerang, Primitive Calculators are back—recording their first ever studio album for 2013 release—ready to deliver an alarming smack to the heads of the unsuspecting.
