The life expectancy of a good record label with a strong identity isapproximately ten years. Warp has certainly experienced a substantialamout of success but with the mismanagement and poor decision-makingthat resulted in this particular release, their days are trulynumbered, if not completely over. The word on the street is that Warpwas interested in Cex, a fine musician of outstanding merit andincredible talents. Not only does he do a superb job of both originaland derivative cut-up fuckery, but he's an amazing entertainer.Unfortunately when Warp finally saw young Mr. Kidwell perform (mostspecifically rap), they pulled their offer. Four Tet was approached byWarp as well this past year, but after a mysterious Warp field trip toNYC, that offer was pulled too. Incidentally, the latest Four Tetfull-lengther, 'Pause' came out on Domino and is not only alreadystrongly poised for top ten critics and fans choices worldwide (forbest release this year), but Nike has even paid for music to be used intheir advertisements in the USA. So what did Warp end up sinking theirmoney into? The superstar power of Vincent fucking Gallo—you know, thatguy who was a model for some clothing company and directed/acted in"Buffalo 66"? [Reality check, boys: to test the true mark of a cash-cowsuperstar, ask your mom who they are.] At most this disc is a reallysad attempt at retrospective late 1960's Velvet Underground demos witha weak man-bitch shamelessly trying to emulate Jimmy Scott. The albumhas undeniably horrific production, untuned guitars and dreadfullyrics. What the fuck is up with words like "honey bunny my baby girlfriend / sweet heart my sugar girl friend...oh darling you're mydarling"??? At 39, Gallo's writings skills are exponentially worse thansomebody like Ben Lee's circa 16 years old. Unfortunately unlike albumsby William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy, this disc isn't even patheticallyhumorous enough to be considered irony. It's not even sincere enough tobe a "Warp release for girls." It's plainly an embarassment on allparties involved. At this point, the best Warp can hope for is to selltheir company and become absorbed into theA&M/Island/DefJam/Mercury group, ditch their managing staff andcall it a day. I'll bet every penny in my pocket that at least when theinevitable happens, Gallo's 'When' will surely never be pressed again.
samples:
Read More
